Replies: Between the Old and the Young
After a long day of work, I decided to message someone dear to me to express my thanks and concern about the recent happenings which I guessed have affected her in some manner.
I ended my first day with this new job feeling exhausted to the bones. At the same time, I went on a panic spree for hours thinking about all the other bunch of things and tasks I have to work on in my other jobs. After that, I started feeling anxious and worried thinking about my plans of moving: will it ever be realized?
Then I sat down on a borrowed leather chair and started sorting out my thoughts. (I was surprised I could now do that!) I started listing down, mentally, the little good things I have obtained in just a month.
“It actually doesn’t seem so bad eh?” I thought to myself.
Then I thought of people. I browsed through my messages and emails and saw that there are actually more people who care about me than I thought there were.
The first person I remembered was her: the one I spoke about in the beginning of this article.
She’s my grad-school mother; well I consider her that kind of person to me since then until today. There have been so many things that happened to her. I originally thought she only experienced that one heart-heavy event but there were actually more; things I became aware of only tonight when I decided to drop by her inbox.
[Note: The quoted messages were revised to plain English. Some names were also changed and/or omitted.]
I sent her this:
“Hello Doc [name]!!!
How are you? I think the typhoon has hit northern areas of Metro Manila. I recall you have a place around those areas. I pray you’re well and safe! ❤
I’m dropping by to thank you for your help in my application to the [company]. I was hired and I just started my job today. And hopefully, I will be going home soon like what we talked about the last time. 🙂”
She would normally reply long messages. She always does. It always seemed like she reads every line of my messages deeply and thoroughly that I think she never misses anything out.
But tonight, it was more than just a long message. It was a letter from God, through her.
She wrote:
“Wow! That’s nice to know. Good luck!
Say hello to [name], your president. He took his master’s degree in [school]. That’s how I knew him.
Yes, sadly our house in Marikina was flooded. Our appliances and furniture were all mixed up. Like, the washing machine was in the living room, some pots and pans were in the foyer, etc. Chest level inside the house. Muddy flood waters. We’ve been cleaning the house since Saturday and discarding damaged appliances (tv, fans, toaster, coffee maker), furniture (chairs and side tables, shelves), clothes, shoes. We’re letting dry the bigger appliances in the hope that they will still function. By tomorrow we hope to be done. 🥺
2020 is something else. In January, Taal erupted and our house in Tagaytay was affected. March, my husband was diagnosed with cancer of the bile duct and passed away in July. 😭 Then, November with these typhoons. I am truly sad and disheartened. 😭 and depressed. I was not worried when Taal erupted and our house was affected. I used to take Marikina floods in stride but not this time. Then, I had my husband to take care of things. Now, my children are taking care of things. And I’m utterly, utterly helpless. Para akong si [dewtarttee]-inutil!
I don’t even know what to pray for specifically. I just pray to our Lord, to the Holy Spirit, to Mama Mary to help all of us. 🙏
Am happy you’re going home to [place]. Am sure your family is happy and excited, too. ❤️ Take care. We’ll see each other when this pandemic is over.”
The message was so candid and it was all from the deepest part of her heart. It was from her actual recent life experiences but I felt like it was God who sent it and it made me realize so many things. I teared up and started praying to God as I finished reading her message.
There’s so much that came into my mind and heart that I couldn’t single out which one came in first and which came last. But these are some of the thoughts I had at that moment:
- God is inside all of us. He hides in the deepest corners of everyone’s soul and comes out right when we need him.
- Doc [name] was an angel. She told me all those candidly to let me realize the weight of the things I have told my self in the past weeks. Say, “I want to die.” or “There’s nothing more for me in this life.”.
- Battles are here for us to grow stronger. It refines us and makes us do things we never have ever done.
- Other people have problems too: even bigger ones. It’s not just you. I thought, then, that no one could possible be in a more hopeless situation than I am right now; and that I would be doing the world a favor if I evaporate right here, right now. Other people’s problems don’t invalidate my sufferings and vice versa, but it makes me want to fight for myself more so I can be of help for others. And it did!
- Gratitude is not merely a gesture. It’s a commitment. It’s a bond formed when people become each others’ strengths. It’s how it grew to become in our case: Doc [name] and I. Since my first encounter with her until today, a thin unstable string of appreciation gradually nurtured to become what it is now today: a sturdy unbreakable bond that will always make me feel appreciated, cared for and treasured (and this goes both ways).
So, I composed my reply to her. Trying my very best not to miss anything so I could hopefully say what she needed to hear right at this time; so I could make her feel less lonely and stronger.
I wrote:
“I first met him online during the webinar last time, Doc and he was brilliant! I’m hoping I could work longer in [company] so I could meet him in the future, in person.
Aww, Doc. There’s so much that was wasted. 😞 I hope those bigger appliances still function after the cleaning. Oh yes, I remember you have a house in Tagaytay! We didn’t even get to visit together with my [school] classmates. 😞
Of course, there’s nothing sadder than the loss of your husband who I have briefly encountered in the past. I saw how you were in love with each other and my heart melted when I saw your videos renewing your vows in the holy land. ❤
Just know Doc that you have your kids around you and no one loves you more than they do because that’s how precious mothers are. ❤ I also am here Doc whenever you need to talk to someone. 🙂
I hope things get better gradually but cleanly, Doc. I am also praying for your health and joy as much as I do for my family and loved ones. ☺
Yes, doc. I will have to agree that 2020 is really something else. This is also the first time for me to lose my financial stability and confidence as a professional. I do not have a full-time job. I don’t have my family beside me. Good thing in the early stages of my breakdown, my friend helped me out. My mom also never forgets to send me messages that make me get up and fight on. And of course, my new job which I wouldn’t be able to get without your help Doc (I’m sure it played a significant role because my competitors were people who were way out of my league). Those things and events Doc; that’s when I thought that there really still are good things amidst all these trials. It’s all God. 😌
Don’t tire yourself so much Doc. The last thing you’ll want is to become sick and have no more energy to fight these battles. ❤
I hope no more typhoons come so we can all fluidly get back on our feet and become even stronger, by heart and body. ❤ Also, I hope COVID ends very very soon so those who needs to go home can do so (like I do and hopefully will).
Get a good night’s sleep Doc. ❤ Those who love you always pray for your peace and happiness. Love you Doc and know that I am always grateful to you and will always be grateful to you. ☺😘”
What do you think? Did I write that nicely?
To be honest, I am not so sure. I only hope. That reply was my way of returning the concealed message she sent me through her reply. Her message touched my heart intensely that I sent myself to invocation.
I never had this kind of conversation: one between a woman old enough to be my mother and a young lady who doesn’t know where to go.
This exchange of conversation was a prayer. It was God’s way of showing me His greatness. He came to me, once again, in the most unanticipated but creative manner. Just when I needed Him the most!
Good night.
